fumofu

My memory is fading very fast. Here are bits and pieces of it.

Getting that catheter in was bad news. It resulted in me having very bad bladder control (i.e. urinary incontinence). At the hospital, I had absolutely no control and thought it was actually amniotic fluid! until I tried squeezing my Kegels midstream and nothing happened. Now, a month later, I have regained some control – maybe 50%. But whenever I sneeze or cough, I still wet myself. It was nice not having my period for 9 months and dealing with sanitary pads. But now it’s pay back time because I’ve been wearing pads since delivery. Sucks.

Let’s talk hemorrhoids. Pregnant people get them. I had a little skin tag before that worsened during pregnancy. After delivery, the hemorrhoid has not gone down. I’ve also heard horror stories from Patricia about the first bowel movement after delivery would be painful and epic. It took a good two days for me to ingest enough food to generate No. 2. But I did it. And good thing it was pretty uneventful. Just funny that every time the nurse comes in to check on me they ask if I’ve pooped yet. I even read on forums that some hospitals won’t release patients until they’ve pooped, just to make sure things are working on that end.

I enjoyed my labor with Avery. There aren’t that many things I would’ve changed. I felt a bit uncomfortable about getting the episiotomy, only because I was not informed about it. But I understand that Dr Kent decided to perform it only because it was necessary (we had discussed this at one of my OB appointments). My one regret about this whole experience was not being able to breastfeed Avery right after delivery when he was placed on my chest. If I am fortunate to do this again, the one thing I would request is this.

Because breastfeeding is the most painful thing I have experienced. Yes, contractions were painful. Delivery was painful. But that was less than 12 hours of my life. Breastfeeding had been challenging and painful right from the start. Almost 5 weeks later, it still is a bit painful. But I don’t have to take ibuprofen anymore. Avery and I had latching problems right from Day 1. At Patricia’s suggestion, I used a breast pump and spoon fed Avery little bits (not even by the dropful) of colostrum during my time at the hospital. I requested visits from lactation consultants on both full days that I stayed at the hospital. They were helpful, but looking back I did not make good use of their help. My nipples were sore, scabbed, chafed, and misshapened. The pain was so awful, my instinctual reaction was to rock myself to ease the pain. I called the nurse hotline from Albert’s insurance twice. The night we got home (Wednesday, 8/4/2010), I called in tears because I gave up and decided to feed Avery a bottle of formula. Thank God Albert only gave Avery 0.5 oz of milk and stopped.

I’m so happy I’ve persisted in breastfeeding. It really is the best gift I’m giving to my child. I am so grateful for the women at the support group I go to at the hospital once a week. Just to enter into a room full of women with their babies of varying age, knowing that they have gone through what I had been experiencing, alleviated a lot of stress. When I went in to last week’s meeting, there was a woman with a 6-day old baby. She was going through everything I had gone through. It’s funny how much has happened in 3 weeks. Yes, it still sucked at 4 weeks with Avery, but we had definitely made progress. And just these past 2-3 days, I feel like I can exclusively breastfeed Avery to at least 6 months, when he starts taking solid foods.

There had been several nights when Avery’s crying because he was hungry and I was reluctant to feed him because of the pain. Poor Albert is not one to hold his tongue when he’s tired and frustrated, and was not the most supportive person at 3am. I think in the ideal situation if I had constant positive support I would not be as stressed. But yeah, I’ll still be hard on myself. That’s just my personality.

It hasn’t been 5 weeks yet, but I have wracked up so many happy memories of our little boy. Like how his little lips made noises when I was burping him, and Albert and I cracked up when I was patting him in rhythm. Or how yesterday I was telling Albie that I was worried because Avery had pooped yet, then he proceeded to poop out of his diaper and into my shirt that I had just put on 2 minutes prior. This resulted in us taking a bath together, and the relaxed look on his face when I sprayed warm water on him is just priceless.

It is still a lot of work taking care of our little stinker, but even just a month’s experience as parents I’m finally feeling like I have a handle on things, and I can regain some of my own life back.

My next hurdle: Avery’s next growth spurt when he’ll want to feed constantly (even though it feels that way now), and Albert playing at an ultimate tournament next weekend. I’m planning on going to my parents’ place, but haven’t decided if I’ll be spending the night. I’ve been trying to let Albert sleep through the night, but exception for one night it has yet to happen. My parents are in no shape to hold a crying baby for 1-2.5 hrs at 4 in the morning.

I bought a baby memory book so I could record things. I need to get back on track! And yes, I will update Avery’s photos soon. That is, once I inform Albert about it. ;)

Guess what? Kid woke himself up and is crying like a maniac. Time to nurse again!

Being homeowners is scary. Suddenly we are in debt for 30+ years. Logging onto Quicken and seeing our finances updated and organized used to be so much fun. Now it’s just depressing. Albert and I made a budget for June, and checking on it, now that the month has passed, is just sad. Needless to say we spent way above budget. At least the extra expenditure came from home improvement projects. But those are just the beginning. We still need to hire painters, and most likely upgrade the smelly fridge.

But we’re enjoying the prospect of our home (since we’ve only visited it a couple hours!). Knowing we will be settling into our own place for a long while has a safe feeling and calming effect. Albie counted the number of moves he’s made since exiting his parents’ house in Ohio for college. That’s 10 places in 12 years for him, 8 moves in 11 years for me. Along the way we’ve accumulated a lot of stuff, but we’ve also shed some of it away. Starting with a clean slate is exciting, but it will cost us! especially since we’re trying to stay away from IKEA. I guess the trick is to furnish at a slow pace.

We also bought a car for me yesterday (talk about cabin fever!!). It was by far the best car purchase process ever, since we asked for AAA-member pricing. No negotiations needed. The car salesman showed us the invoice, how much above that price AAA members are to pay. I wrote a fat check, and took home a shiny, spiffy new car. We were at the same dealership a few months back test-driving the 2010 model. The rattle really bugged. Plus the greasy sales guy didn’t inform us of AAA-member pricing, and badgered us mentally and psychologically for hours trying to coerce us into paying more than we wanted. In the end, I really didn’t want to pay so much for a rattling car. So here we are paying a similar price for a 2011 model, with no rattle. Woohoo! I love this car. Now I need to call the police station to schedule an appointment to get the infant car seat installed. Apparently there’s a one-month waiting list. I may have to head to Gilroy to avoid the lines.

We have most of the utilities set up at the new place, except for internet. I think we’ll try living without cable first. Wish us luck!

Happy 4th!

Addendum: Do not watch anything depressing on TV while pregnant. I just cried my eyes out watching “Deadliest Catch”. Caught the middle of an episode, even telling Albert it’s one where Captain Phil is still alive. Then I realized it’s the episode where he suffered his stroke in the wheelhouse. I couldn’t hold back the tears. It’s already sad, but even worse when I know the man passes away. RIP Phil Harris.

Albert picked up the keys from our realtor’s office yesterday, which was quite anticlimactic. But the excitement sunk in a bit today, when we drove over to get the locks changed and the rusty water heater replaced. Good thing I took photos of us under the “Sold” sign, because the listing agent took it down later that day. I look fat and pregnant in my photo (you can see my outie belly button – eww!), so Albie will be the model.

Snapped this before heading downtown for lunch at Ramen House Ryowa (great noodle consistency, good overall). We love this neighborhood! Crossings Cafe across the street (with the red awning behind Albie’s head) has great mocha chai and a really yummy chicken sandwich. Caught the end of the USA – Algeria game while we were waiting for our order – a big thumbs up from Albie.

Just a couple more miscellaneous things to fix. The big expense will be getting the entire place painted. Then we can slowly move in. As long as we move our comfy bed and set up Baby’s crib (in his own room!) before I pop, we’re all good. Tried out free Google wifi today on Albie’s laptop. Signal is strong, but the speed was at snail’s pace. Guess it was too good to be true. We’ll probably get Comcast cable internet. Will hold off on TV until Albert can’t live without it come football season (only 2 months away).

A Google search of soon-to-be our house’s sellers generated plenty information. Even though it’s public data, it’s scary how easily accessible it is nowadays. I saw photos of the house the sellers upgraded to. Nice purchase - fab kitchen! We Googled our names together and didn’t get too much information, for now at least.

We celebrated Father’s Day early and took Albert’s parents to New Krung Thai for dinner. They seem to like it. Albert’s dad doesn’t often venture out of Chinese cuisine and isn’t a fan of sweet/sour or spicy. But he liked the food we ordered – yay for successful dinner.

Recent events (like our loan application) have made me realize how lucky I am to have found my baby’s daddy. These past 10-11 years have gone by so quickly (OMG, our relationship is a tween!). There weren’t that many kinks to sort out to begin with; and we’ve definitely molded each other even more over the decade. The burp in our relationship definitely did us some good. I know we’ve argued but I don’t really remember what the altercations were about (I have a better memory of the apologies, which were mostly mutual). We think and feel alike so that we operate like a well-oiled machine. But there still are twinkles of individuality (and stubbornness) left in each of us to surprise the other more often than not. We live in our own little anti-social world, and I look forward to our +1, who will eventually pop our bubble. Someday (not now…) we’ll have to prepare this little creature to assimilate into society. We’ll have to *gasp* talk to other parents!

Happy Daddy-to-be Day Chu ‘Mega.

I’m starting to get nervous. 33 weeks: 4 more til Baby’s full term, 7 more til expected delivery date (EDD). I’m watching closely at the slightest signs of labor. Reading about early deliveries in baby forums makes me feel unsettled. It’s like driving by a car accident. You just can’t help yourself but look. (Actually that’s a bad example; I usually don’t look when I’m driving, just to prove that I can resist.) Dr Kent says I’m measuring smaller than age of fetus by EDD. Going in for an ultrasound Monday. I hope he’s doing OK inside. At least he’s very active – I’ll never get bored watching and feeling him move and hiccup. :)

We signed the loan documents at the title company yesterday! Expected to finalize everything and get keys next Tuesday!! The ideal situation is to get the house ready for move-in before Baby arrives. Realistically…that probably won’t happen. We definitely want the house painted (uneven, two-tone paint lines bug). The plan is to drag Albie to the paint store this weekend to get some ideas – definitely spa blue in the master bedroom. :)

Last night’s CPR class marked the end of baby classes. Now I know what to do if a pregnant lady chokes (no Heimlich maneuvers!). Sad thing is if I’m alone in the house, choking and verbally-impaired, I won’t be located via cell phone if I dial 911. Santa Clara county isn’t equipped yet to locate callers via cell phone GPS. It’s possible to locate to the nearest tower, but that doesn’t really help, does it now. Maybe we should get a land line after all.

Too many things going on! I’m grateful for my silly husband, impossibly cute nephews, and a relatively healthy family.

Pregnancy status:

Week 34 of 40. Weight gain: 21 pounds. Waistline: 6″ gained since I started measuring at Week 19.

Apparently I’m 11 lbs heavier and 10″ wider at the waist than my brother-in-law, who’s 9″ taller than I am. Yippee.

3rd trimester hit me blindsided. Just over a couple of days, I started waking up on my back feeling like a rock is on my belly. I finally mastered falling asleep on my left side, only to wake up with a numb left arm. So I turn to my right side and would have to repeat the process in a couple of hours. Toilet trips have also increased. To the point where we go through a couple rolls of TP a week. I’ve had to cut myself back from 3 to 2 squares. If we go out or I know I won’t readily have access to a bathroom, I go potty even if I don’t feel the urge.

I can tell when Baby has a growth spurt by how uncomfortable I feel when he moves inside me. This week has been the hardest. I’m guiltily hoping he gets big enough soon so that his movements will be more limited inside me.

Albert’s dad flew in from Ohio last night. While I’m happy that his parents are here to welcome their new grandson, I am definitely suffering from cabin fever since I am car-less and I don’t feel comfortable using theirs (especially with the conspicuousness of the Ohio license plate). I’ve also come to the conclusion that American cars are not made for short Asian women. What’s the point of having a rearview mirror if I can’t see anything from it? The back of the car has become one big blind spot. At least it’s been uber hot this past week, so I wouldn’t have wanted to get out much anyways. But I miss shopping, walking around, and not feeling obligated to talk to anyone.

Anyways. Just 5 weeks til Baby is considered full term. I still have a lot of stuff to buy – and I’ve already spent a lot of money!! We bought the crib from IKEA the other day, in case Baby comes early and we’ll have to set up shop at our current place. I just want our loan approved and escrow closed so we can bring Baby to his new home.

We’ve been going to a lot of ultimate frisbee games lately. Baby got to see Daddy run and throw a plastic disc around while getting scorched by the sun. We do a lot more laundry these days. I’m going to miss these HE machines. :-/

Last night on our way home from a ramen dinner, somehow smegma entered our conversation. It’s not a word I use at all. I thought it referred to pop paste. So I had to whip out my Droid and look it up. Albie advised me to Google “smegma Wikipedia” to eliminate any suspicious hits. There were some interesting information in that Wiki. But in summary, smegma is actually not pop paste but schlong poop. Good to know.

In other news, Baby is growing bigger inside me day by day. His kicks are much stronger this week than even just two weeks ago, to the point where I get a bit startled when he suddenly starts a bout of kicking. These past couple of days I’ve had Albie try to see if he can feel the kicks from touching my tummy, but no luck. I even read on a pregnancy forum that other expectant moms can see the kicks. So after that I lifted my shirt up when I felt Baby starting to kick (again, right after a meal). And I saw them! It’s easy to miss because my belly is already going up and down as I’m breathing, but I could see, for a second long, this slight, sudden lift on my lower belly. My goal for before Albie leaves is for him to feel Baby kick, and he finally felt it last night when we were getting ready for bed. The feeling that there will be three of us in our family is getting stronger by the day. We’re still in awe that there’s a little person growing inside me!

So yeah, Hubby left for India today for two weeks. I’m a little bummed, but I know I’ll gradually feel worse as the days go by. I’m spending the duration at my parents’ place in the City. It’s most lonely during mealtimes when I’m figuring out what to eat; cooking for one is just too much. So I’m spending some quality time with the ‘rents. Too bad Winnie x3 are in Tahoe this week. I don’t get to see Mason!

My mom talks about her growing grandson all the time. She’s such a doting Paw Paw. :) Just talking about the little boy makes her smile. She said earlier today that this Christmas will be quite crowded with three babies. The 6 of us couldn’t have timed it any better. How will she hold the grandkids with just two arms? I’m glad there’s something in her life that cheers her up so much, even though her health is not the best.

Albert and I are still trying to figure where to go on our babymoon. I was almost sold on organizing a trip to NYC at the end of April. Then I realized Patricia’s due date is May 3rd, and we’ll be taking care of Bahamas. So…we’ll have to stay put. Maybe we’ll just find a last minute deal on TravelZoo. When Albie comes back from India, we’ll have to finish doing our taxes. If we’re in the black instead of red, maybe we’ll treat ourselves to a nice vacation. :)

Can’t believe 20 weeks is over! It just seems like yesterday when I peed on a stick. Now there’s a good-sized bump on my belly and I’m chubby all over (my mom told me the other day my cheeks are chubby). Tipping over 130 lbs is a very, very scary thing.

Albert’s racked up all these vacation days that he needs to use. So we’re thinking of going on a belated honeymoon and “babymoon” in April. If I weren’t pregnant, China would be nice. With the shitty economy, there aren’t that many international direct flights out of SFO. We’ve been to London, so perhaps Germany? or maybe we’ll actually go on a trip in the US. We have friends and family in Boston, NYC and DC. So many choices! Or maybe we should save that money on our down payment.

Albie’s in Oregon these past couple days for work. No fun being without him; and it’s only been three days. How will I cope when he goes to India in less than two weeks? Maybe we should go on vacation so I can have him all to himself! before work and Baby take over our lives.

Baby is very active these days. He’s kicking all the time! I notice it the most before and after meal times, probably complaining on lack of food and then celebrating on a full tummy (just like his daddy)! He’s kicking as I’m typing!

While I was at my parents’ place while Albert’s been gone, Winnie came to visit with Mason. He is so big these days! at almost twice his birth weight. He got so heavy while I cradled him so I had to put him on my thighs with my knees bent (although he started weighing down on my belly). He’s starting to smile now and he’s just the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I hope our baby is as cute as he is! It really makes a difference when a baby is cute and is happy most of the time. Well this little diva always gets his say. I was holding him while Winnie ate and he started complaining coz he wasn’t fed yet. Such a demanding little person. But how can you say “no” when you’re just the cutest thing in the world! I can’t wait for Mason to meet his little cousins!

Winnie has been very kind and have been emailing Patricia and me some firsthand advice on taking care of Baby. It’s exciting yet daunting all rolled into one. Still, I can’t wait!

Guess I should get in bed. Albie lands at SJC in less than 7 hours.

It’s so nice being home alone! Albert’s parents flew back to Ohio 3 days ago. It’s just nice being able to do laundry late at night and not having to close the door when we change. It was a good parting week for everyone. We took them to see OVO by Cirque du Soleil on a weeknight. Great show! as expected. We bought the cheapest tickets and thought our seats weren’t bad at all. Albert’s dad has never been to a CdS production, so during intermission he said to me, “So, no animals?” It was cute. They seem like they enjoyed themselves. The following night we let Albert’s mom off of cooking duty and took them to an izakaya for dinner. I wanted sushi, dammit, but settled with katsudon. The beef tongue shio was good too. Definitely have to go back there. They have wagyu sashimi for $$$. May consider trying when Baby comes out.

At first I thought it was going to be OK having Baby sleep in our room. But then I realize what a drag it is to train him/her to sleep through the night starting at month 4, and that maybe having a nursery would be nice. So now we’re hopping into the real estate market sooner than we had anticipated. We’ll have to go to the bank for a loan assessment to see how much we can borrow before we start shopping. It’s scary and exciting at the same time!

My belly is getting slightly bigger by the week. I’ve been pretty obsessed with the scale lately, which I think needs to be recalibrated. But I suddenly gained 2.5 pounds overnight, so I’m starting to watch what I eat more closely. I’m supposed to gain a pound a week. Don’t want to gain too much now! or else I’ll weight more than Albie towards the end of the pregnancy.

Albie’s been going into work wearing Casual Friday wardrobe every day. He’s been too lazy to iron his button ups, so he’s opting to wear t-shirts instead. I needed to iron my maternity pants, so I decided to help him iron his shirts as well using our super duper Rowenta steam iron I bought off our wedding registry. I love that thing. It doesn’t make me love ironing, but it makes the process go a lot faster. I think if I You Tube video clips on how to properly iron shirts and pants, it’d make the experience even better. I think we’ve taken great advantage off our wedding registry. We received gadgets that I would never buy myself but have always wanted. Who wants to buy a $xxx.xx combination coffee maker on their own? But Albert likes the DeLonghi Caffe Nero a lot. I finally figured out how to make espresso and had fun making them. It froths milk for cappuccinos, but I’m too lazy to clean out the frother. So I manually do it with our battery-powered handheld frother. Works like a charm.

We read an article a couple months back stating that couples that manage the household together maintain a better and longer-lasting relationship. Its title went something like, “Couples who do dishes together stay together.” So now I say that to everything we do to get Albie to do anything with me. Couples who do laundry together stay together; couples who shower together stay together; couples who fart together stay together! :D

We’re in Vegas for the long weekend! My parents took us to the airport, and before we left home we told them we’re pregnant and showed them our ultrasound photos. My mom broke out her English and said, “Congratulations, Albert.” Albie chuckled and said, “Congratulations to you too!” Cute. So Grandma and Grandpa will expect their 3^rd grandkid all in the same year. Crazy. Emailed my siblings at the airport, which surprised all of them. But we’re all happy the cousins will be of similar age and can grow up together. Patricia said she hopes our baby will be a girl so she can put her boy cousins in place. I wrote back saying Albert and I talked about it and said we hope it’ll be a boy so he wouldn’t be picked on so much as he’ll already the youngest (and thus, by default, the least cool).

We stayed at the new Aria, which has a nice mattress pillow top and fluffy pillows that made the perfect medium to loaf around in all weekend long (making it a very expensive bed). I was so enamored with the pillows I took one out of its pillowcase to see what brand it was. Unfortunately, it was Aria’s own in-house brand. So far I haven’t found a replacement at the store; and I’m not going to shell out $100+ for Macy’s Hotel collection, which wasn’t even a close second. My back has started aching, which I thought was premature. I thought most women get backaches from the load they’re carrying later in the pregnancy. I’m barely sporting a bump on my tummy (I’m still trying to figuring out if my tummy is from eating so much or from our little bun in the oven).

You know how women dress especially trashy at Vegas? Well, I shuffled between my two pairs of black sweats almost the entire trip. It was wonderful! I love being pregnant!

Anyways, Aria has some nice restaurants. Too bad I can’t have too much seafood, and raw food is a no-go. Every restaurant offered a decadent tartare of sorts, either otoro for fish or wagyu beef. Let’s see what I had:

Friday night: Lobster risotto at Sirio for dinner (Albert had meatball trio appetizer and grilled fish), then after a stroll around CityCenter, shared a vanilla cream crepe with berries with Albie at Jean Philippe Patisserie right by the elevator.

Saturday: Got up early for an avocado, cheddar and mushroom omelet and ordered the most expensive glass of freshly squeezed OJ I’ve had in my life at Café Vettro (Albie had eggs Benedict and grapefruit juice), then headed over to the turf fields to watch Albie play at his abridged ultimate Frisbee tournament. I haven’t seen him play in about 5 years, and as a first, no one asked me to play. It was great! Ate my leftovers from breakfast at the fields, and was craving some cheese. So I headed to Wal-Mart a block down and bought some Ritz cheese spread and cracker. Do you remember those? Albert looked at me disgusted, but I thought they tasted pretty good. :p

After the tournament, we got on the drive-thru at In-n-Out and ate our burgers in the parking lot. I got my alcohol hand sanitizer out before Albie could sneak a fry in. Last time he ate after Frisbee with dirty hands, he got diarrhea. Poop aside, that was the best burger I’ve had for a while.

We went back to our room, showered and slept, and got up for dinner #2 at Lemongrass. It’s a Thai restaurant, but I ordered Chinese spicy stewed beef soup noodle, while Albert got seafood noodles and the same gin that Moneal got him the night before our wedding… It was an expensive meal, but it was good!

We took a midnight stroll and finally ventured out on the strip outside of CityCenter. Took the tram to Bellagio, and walked a bit at the Forum shops at Caesar’s. We had just watched the “Hangover” and giggled when we passed by the statue up on top of the building by the valet pickup.

Sunday: Met up with Johann, Julius, and some other ultimate people at Diablo’s Cantina at Monte Carlo. I was craving for steak quesadilla, and it was pretty good until it got cold. Albert shared a bucket of buffalo wings with Julius, which were really hot. Was craving for dessert, since I didn’t get my fill yesterday, so I got churros with chocolate dip. Pretty good, but don’t think it completely left me satiated. We watched the Jets vs. Colts playoff game at the restaurant. The Colts may have won, but the Jets still have the fattest linemen ever.

Albert had a pitcher’s worth of Tecate at the bar, and was still drunk when we went to Sage for dinner. I camouflaged into the restaurant’s purple décor with my purple dress. J We were served an amuse bouche, but I forgot what it was. For main courses, I got the Australian-raised wagyu beef tenderloin with this fancy hash brown concoction while Albert ordered the Belgian ale-braised short ribs. The tenderloin was oh so good. I haven’t had good beef since my pregnancy started; and this tenderloin tasted fresh with no bad aftertaste. For dessert, we shared a toffee bread pudding with white pepper ice-cream. They complemented well with each other. All topped off by French-pressed coffee, even though mine was decaf. The waiter offered his refill on the house, but we were so full we declined.

It feels good to splurge on an expensive dinner once in a while. And I said to Albie, the expensive restaurants in Vegas are comparable in price anywhere else, while the mid-priced restaurants in Sin City are complete rip-offs. But, Albie made some good money from blackjack over the weekend, so that paid part of the tab.

All in all, it was a good weekend, save for the cigarette smoke I inhaled. I felt a bit guilty for that…

The funniest thing that happened during our trip was when we were walking by the blackjack/poker tables at Aria, this Asian dealer accosted us. We said, “Hi,” back and continued walking. The demographic in Vegas is definitely more Caucasian-dominant than the Bay Area. So I said to Albert, “Yellow to yellow.” And Albie replied, “Yeah, coz we’re on the same wavelength.” Took me a good 10 seconds to understand the words that came out of his mouth. I married a big fat n3rd, a bigger one than I’d originally thought.